Thursday, 20 December 2012

Life: An update

It's been a while since I last posted so thought it was about time I updated everyone. In looking at that post I realised that it's been about 3 weeks since I posted it and in that time, I've worn lingerie nearly all day, every day. There were about 3 or 4 days were I wore man-pants, but apart from that, it's been panties all the way :)

At one point, I thought I was about to be outed by my own carelessness as I found a pair of my panties trying to 'escape'. Firstly they seemed to have fallen out of a drawer and into a box containing a new kitchen appliance owned by my flatmate, which she nearly picked up, and then when they turned up in the dryer after being washed with a load of her washing that I was helping her with. I certainly didn't put them in there, so can only guess that I'd left them lying around as she picked them up and put them in the wash without realising she'd never seen them before! Nothing has been said and she's been acting normally around me, so maybe she doesn't know. But then again, maybe she does and has decided not to say anything in the worry that it would ruin our friendship. I've tried to be a bit more careful since then, but maybe I'm sub-consciously either trying to out myself into the life of a sissy or shame myself into putting those feelings aside. I believe I know why I cross-dress - given I'm a 40 year old virgin, it's not rocket-science. I want to feel sexy and desirable, but being short, extremely shy and ugly, I believe I'll never have a woman that's attracted to me. Maybe the cross-dressing habit would go away if I was to feel that someone was attracted to me, but then again, if that hypothetical woman was really special, maybe it would be something we could enjoy together.

Oh I don't know how I'm feeling at the moment. I feel like I'm trapped at times. There's so much I'd like to try and like to experience when it comes to sex and relationships, but the reality is that it's not going to happen for me and I need to find some way of coming to terms with that.

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